Am I pretty? Reassurance seeking in tweens goes viral

November 27, 2014

Search the phrase “Am I pretty” and you will be met with a nasty surprise. Hundreds of videos with girls, often very young, asking this question to the world. Their vulnerability is palpable. These videos are heart breaking to watch.

The “Am I pretty” phenomenon first circulated around YouTube with hundreds of young people uploading videos simply asking their audience for feedback on whether they were attractive or not. It’s nothing new. It is normal to want to feel attractive and know that others are attracted to you. However this such a dangerous craze, because they are at the complete mercy of their audience. A few generations back, young people would express their insecurities on paper in the safety of journals and personal diaries, but now the upload button has been placed in the homes of almost every young female. The type of audience viewing these sorts of videos is unlikely to be a good reference check. The videos serve as an open invitation for online bullying.

The vulnerability and reassurance seeking that so many young girls currently experience is also not new. However pressure on young people has changed. In years gone by, eating disorders in tweens was fairly rare with typical ages of onset 14 and 17 years. Today we are seeing eating disorders develop in younger and younger age groups. It also highlights some of the many dangers of social media, particularly when used by the very young.

“Am I pretty?” is now a well known phenomenon amongst tweens. It has developed into an image and hashtag set that has fixed itself onto Twitter and Instagram. People have always spoke about the pressures of the media, and its game of selling images of beauty. In the past, the media has controlled people’s ideas of what beauty and good body image is. Now, it appears to be social network users themselves who encourage their own peer pressure and perpetuate the idea of the media controlling personal image.

There are many options for people who have found themselves caught up in this phenomenon and need advice, particularly for young girls. Joining something that gives you support is better than joining a trend to seek reassurance. For example, there are plenty of online support groups and websites taking action against websites that promote a false sense of beauty like the “Am I pretty” tag. They also fight against blogs promoting eating disorders such as “Pro-Ana” blogs. A lot of support suggests that young girls can still use the internet to help themselves, but it’s about how place your wording. If you type “support for body image and eating disorders” into Google, you will mainly receive help and online support websites. However, if you type something as simple as “Am I pretty?” and seek reassurance instead of support, you are more likely to receive pages and pages of potentially fatal messages. We implore young females to learn to love their image without seeking the opinions of anonymous viewers. Indeed, participating in the later is likely to destroy body image rather than improve it. Even when feedback about body image is positive, giving reassurance is likely to erode it.

Websites you can visit for support:

http://eating-disorders.org.uk/
www.beat.co.uk/
http://webiteback.com/
www.project-shapeshift.net/
http://nobullying.com/lack-of-confidence/
www.thestudentroom.com/(for young people)

There are also Facebook Groups where you can like the page and receive support -these can be more interactive as it’s easier to speak to other sufferers via social networking.