For many, the beginning of a new year marks an opportunity to reflect on the year past and consider hopes and goals for the year to come. Central to this, for many, is goals around weight and/ or health. We wrote about this last year– particularly the tremendous risk this renders many to failure, usually within a matter of days or weeks. So, as we officially open our doors again to clients today for 2015, we are aware that many of you will have experienced- or at least begun to feel the possibility of failure for your 2015 goals. One of the best ways of managing this is to reframe your goals so that they are much more realistic.
“The discovery of the power of our thoughts will prove to be the most important discovery of our time”- William James
What is reframing?
Reframing is a powerful psychological tool and something we often teach our clients to do. It does not change a situation, however it changes how we talk to ourselves about a situation- which changes the perspective of that situation. Changing perspective is incredibly empowering. In particular, it enables us to replace limiting beliefs with enabling ones.
“One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things”- Henry Miller
There are a few simple tools you can use when you are reframing goals.
1. Use milder wording. Often when we speak to ourselves we can use strong language that isn’t necessarily true. Examples include words like “always”, “never”, “everyone”. Never say never- it is rarely true
“I have not failed, I have found ten thousand ways that do not work”- Thomas Edison
2. Ask yourself what would you be saying to a family member or friend, if you heard them saying the same things you are saying to yourself
We all have a personal pool of quicksand inside us where we begin to sink and need friends and family to find us and remind us of all the good that has been and will be”- Regina Brett
3. See your goal as an ongoing process rather than a destination: Ask yourself what can you learn from the perceived failure to help you to learn from it & prevent it from occurring again
“If you live long enough you will make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you”. – William Clinton
4. Challenge your assumptions. Ask yourself what the frame or assumption behind the thought is. Often we hold assumptions about ourselves that have been built up over many years. A common psychological construct is “confirmation bias”, our tendency to look for evidence to confirm beliefs that we believe to be true. When you can identify some of these assumptions that underly beliefs, challenge them by finding and looking for evidence that actually disproves the belief- you will be probably be surprised how much you find!
“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail”- Abraham Maslow
Some examples…
In conclusion, a fantastic quote to remember as you pursue your 2015 goals:
“We can always depend on some people to make the best, instead of the worst, of what ever happens” – Sandra Wilde
Which type of person will you be in 2015?
